Week 47: "Dream in Colors"



This work is on Canvas Board, it doesnt need stretched but needs framed to be hung.




Week 47: "Dream in Colors"

I sat with my head resting today and as I started to sleep I began to slowly slip into a dream.  Light started to come through the darkness in my mind.  Greens and teals swirled while dancing white lights filled in the middle.   Many times in my life I had colors in my dream, but it was always dark.  When I awoke I questioned the meaning.  Do the colors that we dream in tell us what is store for us or does it represent where we are in our lives?

Green to me is the color of the Earth, renewal and growth.  In my life lately I have found that I have grown.  After a long time of just living life on cruise control I started to have moments of clarity.  Of course I didn't come to this easily.  Coasting through life I began to be aware of my own growth, like a plant in too small of a pot.  Is this a sign for me to start looking at repotting myself in my life, to begin to renew my thinking in my life so that I may grow?

When you dream, what color do you see?

Week 46: "The Mourner of Ones that are Lost"

Week 46: The Mourner of Ones that are Lost"



This work is not on normal canvas, but canvas board.  This piece will not need stretched, but will need framed.



The death of a love one is extremely hard and takes time to heal.  What about ones that have moved on or are lost in their own demons.  With the loss of someone so close we have to go through, our own mourning cycle.  

As many know I have been given the amazing gift of recovery, yet I meet many on a daily basis that still struggle.  Tonight, before painting live at an art show I found out that a close friend that I care for and love decided to listen to his demons and disappear into the depth of addiction once again.  When I see and hear about these things it cuts deep.  The hurt of watching someone I care about so much give up on himself rips through me.   This grief process of knowing someone is gone from my life gives me a quick kick in the stomach, but I must move on. 

The thing I have to do is hope that the friends that are lost may return to me someday.  I have learned to except the fact that I they may never return.  I must focus the anger and the fear towards the inner demons and not the friend.  I know that when the darkness doesn't have its grip on them that is where my friend still exists.  For I know them, they were me and if I am not diligent it could be me. 

So I weep in silence for those in my life that are lost.  I shed a tear for every one that have come into and silently slipped back out.  I mourn the loss of my friends, but have the love to move on to new friends with open arms.

Week 45: "and the Pursuit of Happiness"

Week 45: "and the Pursuit of Happiness"

Are all men created equal?  Do we all have this basic right?  Or in the land of the free do we have the right to beat down, hurt or destroy the emotional self-worth of another without retribution? 

Over the last several months I watched our nation decide that they would acknowledge the cry out of youth in this country.  Everyday young people in this land bully others in the pursuit of making themselves "feel better".  They say that they have the right to say what they want because of the freedom of speech.  As well as government saying that everyone has equal rights under the law, oh, but not this specific group because they are different.  What type of lesson does that teach the youth of this country and the youth to come?  While the government and people say we need to stop the outbreak of bullying, they teach youth that it is OK to bully someone if they belong to a specific group. 

My inspiration this week was that of Veterans Day.  These proud and brave men and women fought and still fight for the freedoms of this land.  They fight so that we can still have those rights.  How long will we as a nation teach hate, instead of teaching how to pursue true happiness?  How long will the young minorities that make up this land have to fight?

Week 44: "Wake"

Week 44: "Wake"

Throughout my life, whether it was my childhood, young adult or now into my 30's, I have always tried to overcome my fears.  I once was afraid of heights and roller coasters and to break through that fear, I rode on one. During the course of life, I tore down the walls of my basic human fears.  It is my belief that fear is the core basis of all negative emotions, the question is how to over come my greatest fear.

My deep dark fear is, like many others, growing old and dying.  Many take any and all precautions to make sure they don't appear to "look" old.  For myself, it's not about looking old, (even though that is an easy fix), but more so the fear of being alone.  The thought of growing old and watching all my friends pass away scares me.  Yet the question I ask myself is, how do I move past the fear and conquer it?

The answer to this question for myself is all about doing the opposite:  LIVING.  Life and creating becomes the shield and sword in my personal battle. I find that I live when I create, so to answer my own question of how to conquer my fear of death is to always keep my eyes forward and during life, stay awake.