In life we have a need to feel like we are part of something. A need to be connected to something greater than ourselves, but at what cost? Is giving up your individuality to be part of a group worth the comfort of being accepted? There is a sense of security in a group for those on the inside. This work for me is a question to my readers. Within your groups and circles you gather in, do you ever stand up or show your individuality in your group, and invite someone from the outside?
In life I have felt that I was always trying to fit into whatever group that would take me for those few brief moments. I would change the way I act, dress, and how I treated others. As I become more aware of what I want in my life, I find that I become part of a larger group then I ever thought would be possible. The truth for me is that the more I know about who I am, what I want and express my individuality the more I become part of a true group of loving caring friends. And with that I find an an amazing freedom and security. After years of trying to be part of the gathering and failing, I become part of the group because I know who I am alone.
In my life I have had several moments where I come the proverbial precipice. It's either I hang on and struggle for dear life or take a deep breath and jump.
My fear of the unknown kept me frozen for many years and I fought with all my might to stay on solid ground. It was my fear of loosing control of my out of control life that kept me clawing for the safety. Taking that first step is all based on faith. For me faith is not just a religious idea, but a universal one. I have to have faith in myself that I can make it through whatever life hands me. I have to remind myself that life is not being lived if you don't take a risk. Yet the biggest lesson from taking that first step is that I cannot grow unless I walk to the edge and take it.
Human's are creatures of habit. We as a society don't have a problem with external change, but do have issues changing ourselves. Like myself, to change the internal psyche, I have to rip the "band aide off" to let it breathe. But when I take that jump into something that is a drastic change, I find myself not jumping with both feet together. My normal tendency is to take one step out while leaving one foot planted on the ground "just in case", yet is that truly turning myself completely over to faith. Do I leap fully into change or take a protected step.
A Winner has been chosen for the Create the Story Behind This Work for Week 32: "Comfort Level". The winner will have his work posted here with the art and will be published in the book and has won the painting for free.
Contest Winner: Craig Bomberger
"Untitled"
The intensity of the sparkle in your eyes
Feeling the passion come out in your voice
I mistook these cues from you, as interest in me
Laughing more, I began to let myself go
Finding your attention comforting and warm
Soothing like hand cream in the numbing cold of winter
Before parting ways, you asked for my number
Giving it to you; exchanging our numbers and glances
Once you had it, my feet left the floor and hovered
Running as free-flowing as a faucet left open
Gushing and squirming, I fell, free-falling for you
Closing my eyes and I can see you amidst the dark
Sleep would not prove to be a challenge that eve
After your eyes lock shut and your body stills
When the house lights dim and the curtain opens
Subconscious dreams I have take over center stage
The players are you and I, acting out our future
Such grandeur and awe could not be set to script
Piercing like opening the refrigerator in a dark Kitchen
Rays of the sun’s light tear and break my eyelids
Shock and disbelief force me to start rubbing my eyes
Fuzzy shapes crisp into my bedroom surroundings
Left alone, abandoned, from my beautiful fantasy
My dreams have vaporized, only memories will remain
Slowly, I force myself to lumber through my routines
Inside my head, I still think on what I’d dreamt of
Impossible to wash away; a grease stain on cashmere
Hiding it only makes everyone aware of its existence
Picking up my phone, I place a call to your number
No response, I leave a message; knowing I must wait
Waiting for your response was painful and pleasure
Wondering if this new pain would be worth the joy
Comparable to virginal sex all over again, that’s how it felt
Praying it would soon be over and then start once more
Too much to take; I call you a second time and then text
What’s my fate? Waiting and then more waiting
Just as my mind tells my heart to give up the fantasies
Text message bing; you send me, “Who are you?”
Tears well in my eyes and my brain starts to ponder
Would hearing nothing from you be more painful?
Damages are done instantaneous, like a Richter 6 quake
Crumbled, broken, and damaged; I’m stunned
Building me up and collapsing me in less than a day
Realizing you connived me like the Trojan Horse
Thankful to the standards I’d set long in the past
No chance your horse wrapped in a Trojan could trick me
Hurting as I am, I stop to embrace that thought
Loathing you for how your three words sliced me
Scorn, it must have been my scornful discontent
Expectant of another three word combination
Slightly more sweet, gentle, and enduring language
Much more like the words you’d spoke to me in dream
Therein lies my problem you see, I’d dreamt you
Figures of the imagination never inhabit the Earth
Try as I may to curse and blame you, I fault myself
Telephone numbers exchanged like fortune cookies
Shreds of hope in the bottom of your carry-out meal
Difficult as this reality is the face, it could be worse
You could have leaked in me, like the Soy Sauce
Ruining and staining my new seats as I drive home
Disgraceful a situation as it is, I stop to relish
Behind every work of art has a story. It is also said that every person has a story to tell, and the eyes are the window to soul. Have I thrown enough cliche' lines yet? Even though I these lines have been used forever, I find them to be true. So this week after trying to come up with my own story for this work, decided to let everyone come with their own story.
Contest: Come up with a back story to the work. What is it's story?
Deadline: Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Winner: The winner will have their story published here on the blog with the work, and will have the story published in the book at the end of the year. And will also win the painting!
Submit To: theartofdavidk@live.com
Subject Line: Week 32 - Comfort Level Contest
Let your creative thoughts flow, uncensored!
"Never conform...Define yourself. The world worships the original."
Like seeing your shadow bouncing off a puddle or pool of water, the reflection of ourselves is always distorted. No matter what direction you look the reflection constantly changes. It morphs sometimes into something that you don't recognize, or if you're lucky you get to see just brief glimmers of what is truly there.
As the water ripples underneath, it's ever changing. We are never left with the same water reflecting back. As each ripple of life comes through us, whether it be big or small, it changes us and never leaves us with the same person that started. We as humans seem to have this thought that if there is going to be change it needs to big all at once, and "all or nothing" attitude. If we were to just let the waves of change slowly ripple across us wave by wave and at slower pace, we would see more of our true selves. We would finally see exactly what the world sees. Sometimes the most beautiful thing in nature or in our world is the smallest and most understated subtlety of change.
