Week 19: "Lilith"

Week 19: "Lilith"


Brief Story of "Lilith" (from Wikipedia): 


In Jewish folkore Lilith is the name of Adam's first wife, who was created at the same time and with the same earth as Adam. She left Adam after she refused to become subservient to Adam and then would not return to the Garden of Eden after she mated with the Archangel Samuel. 


As many of my followers know, I have never used religious subject matter in my works, yet for some reason this week I was drawn to the story of Lilith.  Part of this misunderstood tale is her inner strength.  In the end, Lilith's  conviction of not being controlled  gave her strength and knowledge of herself.


In my life I have had many outside forces which made me a slave.  From relationships and addictions, to my own insecurities.  The lack of knowledge of myself caused me to be suppressed.  When I began this journey over two years ago, little did I know that I would find that inner strength.  


Inner knowledge and strength in myself did not just come in the blink of the eye, or rush over me like the wind, but it was slow, and gradual.  I found it to be a slow process of small things.  Such as simply letting others know what I was feeling and not pretending just to make that person happy.  This was one of the most important lessons I learned.  


In the tale, Lilith refuses to return to the Garden after mating with the Archangel Samuel.   To me that statement is profound.  Even though the Garden is paradise, it would not be for Lilith.  The Garden would become a cage, with Adam being the owner.  When I realized that love and knowledge of one's self is the only way to have a full life that is your own, I began the hard task of learning who I was from the inside.  Over time I will learn more and more about myself so that one day without hesitations I will say "I will not be returning to the Garden with you Adam, I have myself an Archangel."  


     

Week 18: "A Man in Perspective"

Week 18: "A Man in Perspective"

What makes a man a man?  Is there a right answer? As I add one more year to my age, and leave behind my so called "boyhood," I start to ask myself these questions.  Growing up I was always more emotional than most of my friends. Some could say more feminine in nature. Being in touch with my softer, more emotional side caused a lot of heart ache and teasing. But I always wondered why the standards of masculinity  have to be strong and unemotional. In this week's work I wanted to try a somewhat modified form of cubism.  My goal was to depict what I felt makes up the true form of a "Man".  

Humility-Being able to show the vulnerable is a true virtue in my mind. The ability to say "I am wrong, I'm sorry", and truly meaning it.  I have found that being able to do that in my everyday life has made me feel more like a man than trying to always win my way.  

Acceptance-Ready to embrace someone whether it be physically or mentally. Even though I have seen a recent trend of more men being able to be affectionate with fellow men, there still seems to be a major stigma about men touching each other.  If a man is to be strong then why not be open armed to be able to hold another man, or a woman, when that person needs to be held up?

Centered-I think a "Man" should be centered with himself and his own masculinity.  Being able to be comfortable with that inner femininity has helped to find balance in my life. Before, because of the torment of not being "masculine enough," my soul felt out of balance. But once I began to embrace that my inner femininity, my mind, body and soul began to work in harmony. I was created by a man and woman, so why not express both sides equally?  

It's my belief that it all comes down to one thing: love.  A true man knows what is right in his heart, whether it's humility, being open-hearted, or embracing both sides of the spectrum.  When I am able to love, I see what makes a true man in perspective.

Week 17: "Waiting On Completion"

Week 17: "Waiting on Completion"

      In my life I have lived with a feeling of not being whole, always waiting for something to come to fill that void. I thought I found it in a partner, in a friend, in my family. And for a dark time I thought I found it in the dark side of addiction.  Nothing could fill that void. I felt as if I was a man drawn into this life with just a basic outline.  Waiting for someone or something to come in a fill inside the lines. 


      Over the last few years I have slowly come to terms that there is nothing outside of my body that can fill me.  No force, no object can plug up the missing link in the chain.  It comes from within.  


     Total fulfillment of one's self has to come from within.  Like painting by numbers, we all have to pick up our own brush and begin to paint piece by piece with self love, self confidence and self knowledge  to finally see the full picture.  We stare into our lives and slowly see the vision become clearer bit by bit. I still have trouble dealing with the fact that it is a slow process. Until the full painting of our lives are finished, we can look at the masterpiece that is unfolding and marvel in the beauty of waiting to be completed.

Week 16: "Duality"

Week 16: "Duality"

This weeks piece was inspired by two different sources. The first being that the day I painted it was Earth Day, and second was a thought that has been running through my head.

There is black and white, right and wrong, light and dark. It all comes down to what helps and what hinders us. The flower that inspired me was the Belladonna.  For those who may not know, the belladonna has  medicinal properties for those who can't sleep, but taking  just a little too much can cause death. 

It is said that there is always two sides to the story.  It is my belief that we all have these two sides in our lives. We can either be the healer or the heretic.  That we as humans can create and destroy, always dancing on that fine line between the two.  I have found we do this with our Earth and more importantly we do this to our fellow humans. Today in the world there are too many of us that walk that fine line between beauty and destruction. 

I have learned that life is delicate like a belladonna. The beauty of this flower, just like life itself, is in it's duality.

Week 15: "Voodoo"

Week 15: "Voodoo"

Passion can have a strange mystical power over someone.  It is my belief that passion can cause such a rapture that it can take over our senses, our thoughts, even our souls. I find that my passion in life can be my greatest strength, and my biggest downfall.  

Like a mist lightly rolling over water, passion can take over me and seduce me in places in my mind that I never dreamed possible. It seduces me like a lover, sexually charging the very deepest recesses of  my psyche.  When it takes over me I completely loose all command of my body, mind, and soul. Its as if someone is there using some invisible string moving every part of my body.  

Lustfully starved for its mental stimulation, passion can leave me like a addict without a drug.  While I sit there staring at a blank canvas with nothing on it, I go through inspirational withdrawal.  My body craves passion to fulfill that longing and my mind starves for validation of my existence.


Passion's uncontrollable spell over someone such as me is like some great being holding a doll.  Pushing in pins, covering it's face, and binding me with it's Voodoo. 

Week 14:"A Mid Summer Night's Dream"

 

Week 14: " A Mid Summer Night's  Dream"

*Actual size of piece is 8.75" (w) x 46" (l) 

After re-reading A Mid Summer Night's Dream by Shakespeare, I decided to let myself get lost in a dream. I wanted to see where my mind would take me.  While my mind wandered like Lysander and Demetrius going to battle deep in the woods , I too got lost in the mist of what my mind saw. I began to see what Puck saw, a world of magic. A world of mystery. If all the world is a stage, then I feel that my mind is the playground-especially dreams.  

I have always believed that dreams can be a canvas to express our deepest and most passionate emotions, and our darkest desires at play.

Dreams, like the music from an instrument, or the words of a poet, can be unlimited when they become a creative force.  In my dreams  the visions can be so intense that I can feel my senses exploding all at once. The thing I love about those moments is that everything is limitless. When I dream anything, everything is possible, even passion with my most unattainable physical attractions. Where but in that playground can we have the boy of our "dreams" and live happily ever after, or win the battle of our own mortality. When in our daily lives can we let our inhibitions go and follow through with our personal desires, without causing catastrophic consequences? The only place is during a night's dream.

Note: This piece is a special size, there will only be 4 over-sized works during this series. This is 1 of 4. The actual size of the piece is:

8.75 inches wide  x  46 inches in length 

The picture to the right is a up close detail clip of this week's painting.  

Remember all paintings at $52.00 plus tax. 

Week 13: "Tarnished"

Week 13: "Tarnished"

As I worked on this weeks painting from the home of my parents, in my home town, I began to think about where my life has taken me.  This all began from staring at a old metal antique that adorns the house.  I think of how I started in life as always the good shiny person, but just like the old metal antique I began to have things happen in my life that coated me in a film of mistakes, dust, jadedness.


Polishing off the years of hurt, pain, and self destruction is like a gentle cleaning away of years of dust and grim that cover the beauty beneath. As you slowly peal back the layers the shine and natural luster begins to show its self once again.  Just like with myself, as I began to slowly polish away the years of the resentments and the pain of life experiences, I have to be gentle with myself.  If we try to clean away the layers to quickly or with to much force we may cause more lasting damage. We may scratch the beautiful shine below.  I found its important to give time it's time when cleaning away the spiritual muck from myself. 


Slowly, but surely,  we can start to see the radiant gleam of the being that we can be.  We can all slowly wipe away the years of tarnish, as long as as were gentle with ourselves and give ourselves time, we can get back to the beautiful, shining, selves below the years of tarnish.